


The Void of Rejected Potatoes

by EmilyWeaslette



Series: In Which Only the Most Drastic of Measures are Taken [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Crack, Language, Original Story - Freeform, This is literally just crack, and i hope to read, it's fun tho, swears, to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24248644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyWeaslette/pseuds/EmilyWeaslette
Summary: Our characters get banished to The Void of Rejected Potatoes. Confusion ensues.Rated Teen for language
Relationships: Nat/Hazel, Original Characters/Original Characters, Ruby/Spencer
Series: In Which Only the Most Drastic of Measures are Taken [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1750315
Kudos: 1





	The Void of Rejected Potatoes

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So, I found a bunch of chapter title prompts, so I created some characters, randomly selecting a chapter title, and writing a story based off it! It's mostly turning up crack and stupidity, but... you know, it's fun!

I mean, I guess it’s nice to know that when I get banished to The Void, my friends will come with me. Of course, that begs the question, should I be  _ guilty _ that they’re all banished now, or… is it fine? I mean, they made the choice, I didn’t ask them to come, but they did, and now we’re all here, surrounded by all the potatoes that have ever been rejected by mankind. 

It’s a surprising amount of potatoes. I thought that everyone loved potatoes, all of them, but… I guess not. Of course, there aren’t any french fries down here, so maybe it’s just whole potatoes people don’t like. It’s kind of sad; I can’t help but feel bad for them, especially as I’m a sort of potato myself, so it makes me a little bit sad to see all of my own kind that have been rejected, laying on the ground in this large, white room. 

“What the fuck.”

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that those are the first words out of Henry’s mouth. It’s extremely in character for him, but I thought there might be a little more… ‘is everyone okay,’ you know? 

“Don’t look at me,” Ruby raises her hands in a gesture of surrender. “Nat’s the one that landed us all here.” 

“Where is  _ here _ ?” Spencer asks. 

“We,” I declare. “Are in The Void of Rejected Potatoes.” 

My friends all stare at me for a moment, looking more confused than they did moments ago, when they opened their eyes to find themselves laying on a large pile of moldy potatoes. 

“What the fuck?” Henry repeats. 

“Nat, sweetie…” Katie steps towards me, reaching out to place her hand on my shoulder. “Do we… do we need to talk?” 

“Kathryn, love of my life,” I say, reaching up to block her hand from my shoulder. “Now is not the time to be all sweet and lovey.”

“Can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on?” Jack interjects. “What is the ‘void of rejected potatoes’?” 

“It’s a void, somewhere in the midst of the space-time continuum,” I explain. “Where all the potatoes that have ever been rejected by humanity are sent. If a potatoe is thrown away, it does not go to the dump; it goes here.” 

“Okay…” Ruby says slowly. “So, why are we here? The last thing I remember was all of us saying that if they were going to banish you, they had to banish all of us.” 

“Yes, that is the last thing that happened,” I nod, picking up the least moldy potato I can find and taking a large bite out of the side. “The council decided to banish all of us.” 

“But why to the void of rejected potatoes?” Henry asks. “This makes no sense.” 

“Well, my dear Hen,” I say, ignoring Henry’s glare at the much-hated nickname. “The townspeople decided that I am about as useful as a rejected potato, so they decided to banish me here. You all, in attempting to stand up for me, have gotten yourselves banished as well.” 

Ruby rolls her eyes. “Fantastic. Fan-fucking-tastic. So, what, we’re all just stuck here for the rest of time?” 

“Oh, no,” I shake my head emphatically. “There is a way out. Sometimes a potato is accidentally thrown away, you see, by a careless child or something, so there is a way to escape. We just have to wait for - oh, there we go!” 

I point to a place a bit to the left of where my little group of idiots is sitting, where some sort of rip has opened, and a potato falls through. 

“Now,” I say, “We just have to get through there before the hand comes in to save it. Hurry, everyone!” 

I lead my friends over to the rip, duck down to get under it, and stand up. I surface in someone’s kitchen, standing in a trash can, a banana peel stuck in my hair. A young girl, ten at the most, begins screaming. 

“Hello,” I say cheerfully, clamoring out of the trash can. “Don’t be alarmed, my friends and I just got trapped in the void, and this was the only way out. Sorry for startling you!” 

I pull the banana peel out of my hair and toss it back into the trash can, only for it to make a reappearance, lying on top of Spencer’s curls. It takes about five minutes for all six of us to get out of the trash can, and once we do, we all stand in awkward silence, trying to avoid eye contact with the terrified little girl in front of us. 

“Well…” Spencer, the lovable, awkward idiot, says slowly. “I guess we’ll just be, ah, going, then? Thank you for letting us use your, um… trash can. We won’t bother you again.” 

We all follow him out the front door of what appears to be a really quite lovely house, and end up in a completely unfamiliar neighborhood. 

“Now what?” Jack asks, exasperated. “How are we supposed to get home now?” 

“Oh, don’t worry,” I shrug carelessly. “Do you really think that’s the first time I’ve gotten banished as a potato? We just need to find a gas station or something, figure out what country we’re in, and then I can get us home in no time.” 

I start walking purposefully down the street, sensing that my friends are trailing after me. Ruby and Katie are lagging in the back, but that doesn’t stop me from hearing them.

“What the fuck is wrong with her?” Katie asks, her voice dripping with amusement. 

“Don’t ask me,” Ruby says. “She’s your girlfriend.” 

“Rueben?” I call, turning around so I’m walking backwards. “I can hear you!” 

“Shut the fuck up!” 

**Author's Note:**

> It's a little short, but... it was fun to write! I'll be writing more with these characters, so I hope you stay tuned!


End file.
